StillMorphing, IntoWhat, IHaveNoIdea.

Friday, June 30, 2006

gooey chicken baked rice
gigantic earthquake
disgusting experiment of dry ice
secret to a great kisser
glares of the customers
pairing of couples
photo session at century square

the stupid things that we've done.
the fun times that we've had. =)

Charmaine.@11:23 PM
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A mother of two, going to lose her jobs because of the two people who came across her path while working. Out of which, one stooped low enough to shed tears that was never meant to be. And these people never knew the situation that this mother is in. All she wanted, was to sustain her job and keep things going. They never tried to understand, never bothered to. They never thought of how serious the consequences are. I empathise+sympathise people who partake this career. Hopefully, everything's gonna be fine for her.

***

Speaking of which...
i think i am soooooo influenced by that
"how serious the consequences are"

Haiz. Poor girl. Cheer up okie? I'm sure he didn't mean to scold you. He just wanted you to know the consequences.. Don't take it too hard okie? I'm sure he's gonna be fine in a while. =)
Hahas* thought it through. even if i were to lose my job. well o well, be happy and merry, slack my one month away. =)
So chill out yea? Things are gonna be A-OKIE.

***

Having someone to be able to read your mind,
to be able to deduce your thoughts,
is that a good or bad thing?

Can you not read someone's blog
and hit the bull's eye about her thoughts?

Tell me he saw my blog.
I will feel less... shocked? scared? apprehensive? amazed? errr impressed?
hahas* nahh. impressed doesn't fix into the context.

i hate to be near people who can read my thoughts.
it's just a feeling of... uneasiness.
in this case, i can kill one stone with two birds aniwaes.
fantastic.

***

sometimes the truth is hidden behind the many smokescreens and facades
and sometimes it's blatantly smacked infront of your face.

It's for you to try to see what you believe,
or believe in what you see.

And for the truth to lie before you
or behind you
depends on who you are.

***

hahas* the above sounds cynically scary. it's sounds like the evil twin of some split personality maniac trying to go on a massacre spree or something. -yikes.

but all i did was to generalise the post on who i like. hahas*

Charmaine.@9:30 AM
------

Thursday, June 29, 2006

#1: Lose your wallet. (Though you recovered it a day later, you already got an earful from your beloved mum.)
#2: Scolded by the high-handed English teacher in school, i.e. my fellow colleague. If she would have scolded me in private, i'm like cool with it. But, she scolded me right in front of the entire bunch of students, OKIE. piece of shiat. who the hell does she think she is man. Screwed. "...Don't you think you should have some form of responsibility.. the library lost 30k worth of books last year, you know!..." Of course, things don't just end here. I will of course, seek for help. =) Try scolding me for no reason. i'm sure you'll get your share too. My boss is still the best. =)
NOW, point 1: i don't need your statistics last year, simply because i hold no responsibility for that cause i joined your school on the 2nd of Jan 2006.
point 2: if i don't leave that freaking door open, how can my beloved students come in to finish their damn definition? Duuhh, they can't possibly float in RIGHT?
#3: Like less than FIVE minutes later, some stupid student popped a stupid question. and the next thing you know, he popped that same stupid question to the alleged person i like. like WOW, i like a student. I'd prolly play along, but i was way too pissed yesterday. Apparently, flaring up isn't the solution to problems like this, because i just aggrevated the situation. And why can't ANYONE just believe the fact that I LIKE QUEEN BITCH?
linking to #4: i'm quite sure that something is VERY wrong with the outing this Friday. Tell me that my 6th sense is wrong, but i think i know who's going.
linking to #5: ZIYING is spreading to the entire world about this. like hello, i'm cool with her spreading to the entire school, but i'm just praying+hoping that this doesn't get to miss ng. if this reaches her ears, that's about it. i can stay at home and rot my life away before heading to Switzerland. That's one month of no pay, and one month to pack my luggage. hmmmm. not a bad idea either.
linking to #6: it's gonna be so awkward and i'm just hoping that i don't have to see this student ever again in my life. it makes me sound like nothing but a paedophile. -Shudders.
#7: a fantastic start to a brand new day is to enter your workroom and realise that BOTH airconditioning systems are not working? WOW. I don't even need to go to Andana to get my sauna bath.
#8: oohhh i missed out an unlucky event yesterday. walked into a shop with Hippo at PS and a stupid plush dropped from that damn shelf. like NO ONE touched it, and it fell right in front of my face. OOHHH guess what? it was that symbolic animal of that alleged's nickname. HOW appropriate. And what were they spinnin in the store? Daniel Pouter's Bad Day. if i would have never learnt literature, i will call this coincidence.
#9: Oohhh ANOTHER event!!! Some stupid screwed up sec1 boy smsed the wrong person, and obviously he was cursing and swearing at me. being courteous, replied a thanks. that guilty freak started to be hostile and said ".... u sux" WOW. STUDENT telling a TEACHER she sucks. boy, if he wasn't my student, i would have asked him to fark off. Well, being politically correct, i decided to let my superior deal with this instead. screwed up shiat.
#10: I saw a great need for retail therapy, popped by DP with darling Hippo. Tried SEVEN pieces of clothing. Out of which, the dress made me look like a mamasan. the green skirt made me look like a ghost from the 70s, and 4 tops made me look like a full biatch. All i wanted was clubbing tops what. UGH. So my 10dollars voucher is still rotting in my wallet.
#11: Queen Bitch is in deep shiat. Some crazy maniac questioned him regarding his previous relationship. Ohman, which part nut or bolt came out of this freak's brain? just because you are sore about the fact that he managed to get her and you didn't, doesn't entitle you to interrogate him regarding his love life. Piece of useless scrap. Cynical as i am, i want them to threaten him, and the next thing you know, HI POLICE. =)

Revenge is sweet, isn't it?
CompletelyCynical.
Ha.

Charmaine.@9:26 AM
------

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

MY WALLET IS GONE!!!!

SAVE ME!!!

Charmaine.@9:33 PM
------

should never have treated my students as friends.
should never have blurred that line.
learnt my lesson.

maybe i shouldn't have stayed after all.

i should have packed up the memories
and leave.

but there are nice ones who will be my friends for life. =)

those hypocritical and irritating ones,
back off.
don't put on that stupid facade of yours
simply because i'm your teacher.
as a teacher, i have no qualms about you being a guai kia.
as a friend, i think you suck to the max.
and if you can't draw the line,
i'll draw it for you.

ROAR~.

Charmaine.@2:14 PM
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Monday, June 26, 2006

the trivial matter that triggered a terrible mood swing.
alliteration again.
hahahas*

Walked around cvss today.
each and every inch of that school seemed to have kept a part of my memory there.
the carefree days,
where everything seemed so simple.

Things turn simple
after you meet something more difficult.

Thought about this in the cab,
Magnify your happiness. Diminish your sadness.

if i were three years younger,
i will DEFINITELY quarrel with Hong Hwee's bunch of idiotically juvenile friends.
and i'm sure, you will have no room to rebutt.
Nothing but a bunch of low mentality sec4s.
Owing to the fact that they have another 1000+ days to develop a relatively more mature thinking (not hoping for much, just to the extent that they can afford to understand the definition of respect), i can definitely empathise the desperation to show how they can go against a teacher and win the argument. though, i gotta say that, it's practically impossible.

just to give them the shadow of a doubt,
ya, i'm sure they are gonna win. so damn sure. =)

Charmaine.@8:30 PM
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Sunday, June 25, 2006

My weekend was ruined by a desperately in need of sexual comfort disgusting lao pok ah pek. maybe he was fuckingly high at that point of time possibly after reading some FHM or some shiat. maybe he was figuratively blinded by the FHM pretty images so much that he decided to attempt to touch someone who is un-pretty, un-sizely and unfriendly in the NEL train. Stupid balding fucking old hag. You are not literally blind as to not see my big fat thigh and arm right? rather, why do you need to touch me to call me? i'm not farkingly deaf if you realised. in fact, you don't have to get complementary touches of women like that, you can go geylang and try your luck, maybe they will let you do so you fucking shiat. you made me cry in the train, remember that you fucking ass. may your ***** be infested by the millions of fleas, lice and insects. may it rot and you can never ever enjoy your sexual pleasures. may your skin rot and be infected by rabies, HIV, STDs and whatsoever type of disease there is on this earth. may your fingers drop and never ever be able to touch people ever again. DISGUSTING FUCKING OLD FREAK. fuck off.

Poof. feeling much much much better now.
My sweeties brightened up my day quite abit.
The concern from my Hippo just made me feel way way better. =)

At that point of time, You appeared on my mind. As if it helps. I'm supposed to hate You anyways. It's not difficult, i'm sure.

anyhows, weekends was alil better after some retail therapy.

- crabtree and evelyn hand lotion
- fading effect french manicure
- DP bottoms and top
- marche lunch
- hairband and hairpin ( hahahas* extravagant one indeed. =P shuping almost killed me for it i guess? )
- my clinique stock ups ( absolutely sinful. =D )
- Switzerland guide book ( soooooo not worth it. but i need it anyways. )
- sushi lunch buffet ( we haven't had our fill for the sashimi isn't it? )
- VOICES from the FIFA world cup (a MUST-BUY. the songs. fantastic.)

McFly's CD is next on the list. Fabulous.

was out with shuping before the supposedly midnight shopping with hippo where i met that freaking piece of shiat because i was taking public transport. and it was then i realised that 109 comes to my place, right in front of my doorstep. and i waited 25minutes for 156 mind you. no more public transport, at least for the MRT. phobia.

we bumped into June and SohTahPia at Wisma. hahas* so much for WORKING and taking the 6hour break with Whizzy. Anyhows, dinner date's fixed on 2nd July, 6.30pm Cityhall MRT. Preview of dinner, discussion of our-hopeful-chalet. ThirtyFourOFour peeps (well, i don't mean all though) i miss you guys!!!

let's see...
Shuping (whom my mum wonders why i don't get sick of seeing. because it was actually dinner on Friday and lunch on Saturday, and it should have been more den enuf seeing each other everyday at work)
June (This woman always starts my entire round of meeting ups. If i start meeting her, it simply means that the cycle has started again.)
Jane n Zirui (through sms?!?!)
Whizzy and SohTahPia (i actually keep in touch with this pair of Siamese twins through different occurrances)
Kettle (we combed all NYDCs in Singapore. Tell me how often we meet? We actually visited several NYDCs repeatedly, mind you.)
TaiTai (my birthday celeb was the last one i guess? and we haven't gone for our high tea though..)
Wenyuan (we actually chatted on the phone! hahas* Weird, but we have tons to talk then!)
Zixin (Dining at Sakae partner. hahas* my emo counsellor. absolutely still in touch.)
Eileen Ee and Chun Hsien (Still left off at my birthday. noo... Spoke to Chun Hsien on MSN one of dose days, we haven't finished e conv! haven't seen him fer quite sometime.)
Pamie (MSN always keeps us in touch. =) )

And my outa-place-ThirtyThreeOFour Lydia darling. =)

suddenly, i miss TeeJay alil. Can you believe it? i mean, the Tee-shirts make good pyjamas tops, but that's besides the point. =P

Heading back to seeveeassass this morning to teach. i really wonder how is it gonna feel like to teach a bunch of kids in that tablecloth uniform that i was once in. former teachers, becoming my colleagues. Shudders. ARASU the garfield, Lee BS my Papa, Tan BK blah blah blah. Overwhelming feeling.

Ohyes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD. =)

Charmaine.@11:43 PM
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Friday, June 23, 2006

speed X time = distance.

let speed be x.
time = 42days.
distance = infinity.

therefore, speed = inifinity?

my math is pretty bad, but it should be correct RIGHT?

that's the speed that i have to avoid.

i wanna hate you.
i have to.

Charmaine.@7:57 AM
------

if it occurred to you that i was chirpy and cheery this morning,
it became delirious, downcasted and downright depressed by the end of the day.

1. Met My darling TING TING TING early in the morning with his disgusting windbreaker. as disgusting as him.
2. students who i thought were independent and could be trusted to do their work, screwed up my trust for them. congratulations.
3. Compulsive Cranky Callers Called twice. And BOTH were picked up by me.
4. i've got a gut feeling that i have to change my blog soon.
5. mood went to the negative extreme end of the spectrum when... nevermind.
6. took about half an hour to search for a block in pasir ris, when it was about 15minutes away from school. to pass a piece of bread. YES... well at least, if it really cheered 3 people up, that's fine. =)
7. Bought the Lychee Hip Hop Jelly flavour. and it just ruined EVERYTHING. so i had to buy another hip hop jelly, ate two mouthfuls, and it went into the dustbin. i shall stick to the traditional.
8. met an EXTREMELY friendly taxi uncle! spoiled shuping and my mood, like TOTALLY.
9. while queueing for the cab at suntec with kettle, a sensual yet not very good looking couple were too excited after watching Just My Luck and tried to make out even at a taxi queue. YIKES. btw, it was DAMN loud. fyi, it is the third pair i saw today, making out at public places. is there no where else? Freedom of speech and movement.
10. even washing my face could hurt my eye. WTH. for the first time, a clinique product pissed me off.
11. lastly, the most significant one. Mum found out about Doraemon is an understatement. Essentially, she FINALLY sound out her discontentment for him. GREAT. Conservative freak.

Charmaine.@12:41 AM
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Friday, June 16, 2006

Latest fetish of the people around me: Hard Gay videos.
-Shudders.
Disgustingly funny.

Something worse would be a blog i chanced upon when i was blog hopping. atemptressinme.blogspot.com
shocked the shiat outa me.
STUNNINGLY outrageous for the conservative me.

Disregarding people of my age,
even my sec1s are totally obsessed with phallic objects.
so i thought...
why not be innovative enough to let them find out the definition of phallic? hahahas*
there it was, Bryce coming up with the definition of phallic off hand, after 3 lessons.
and i made him do a shout out to the class when the sec4e1 peeps were there.
moral of the story: never ever mention about phallic objects in My class.

Is it true that 90% of the guys' brain is nothing but SEX?

Tsk. The power of sex is indeed underestimated by me.

Charmaine.@9:13 PM
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Thursday, June 15, 2006

When the world is so fucked up
You simply wonder if you should just drop everything
and leave.

Under the totalitarian rule of Dictator Foo
I just wanna rebel and leave that fucked up home.
His daughter has been way too repressed.
Just because that stupid ass was from RI,
disregarding the fact that he couldn't even make it JC,
he expects his daughter to be a wonderwoman.
You're not even superman,
you should just expect your daughter to turn out as some chaoahlian instead.

BACK OFF.
Why are YOU my dad.
Fark.

Charmaine.@7:49 AM
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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Somethings are way faster than expected.

It's time i start writing the cards.

Decision out at midnight.

Charmaine.@7:23 PM
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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

If one day you get to know the reason behind what i've done
and how i actually feel
i'm sure you're going to hate me to death.
confirm+guarantee+chop
you won't be the only person who feels that way.
One is apparent.
One is less obvious.

i'm getting better at lying as the days go by.
although i still make some stupid blunders.

Concealing the truth and Lying are different.

I believe the questions that i've asked you, will fall into place
(as cliched as it is) like missing pieces of the jigsaw puzzle falling into place
forming the entire picture.

I won't blame you if you ever hate me,
because, i hate myself too.

Charmaine.@6:21 PM
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Sunday, June 11, 2006

MORNING!!!

hahahas* i JUST woke up! -yawns. Still missing my bed alil. Well, i'm still in bed tho... hahas*

Was alil late for yesterday's midnight shopping. Left citylink mall on the dot at 12mn when they start closing, and wasn't able to leave suntec at 1am when they were already closing. hit macs for Dinner at 1am. So... I only hit the covers at 3am.. So you can't really blame me for sleeping till this absurd 5pm right?

Gonna have erm... Breakfast in awhile. Shall go see cussie's baby after that. How am i supposed to sleep by 12mn today!?! Classes start at EIGHT AM tml... -YAWNS.

i still miss that pair of Kookai Slip On Clogs. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. should have bought it. But Miss Big Foot here has half an inch of her big feet sticking out of that shoe. -Sigh.

Freakonomics is nice. Go read it. =)

Charmaine.@5:07 PM
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Saturday, June 10, 2006

"Battery, charger and other accessories are covered for 6 months from the date of purchase."

And THIS,
wasted my trip down to PS.

But THIS,
created a coincidence!
i met YISAN!!!
the mousey boy has turned into a golden monkey.
miss his crappy jokes and ah beng voice. hahas*

heading down to town for midnight shopping!!!
Suntec till 1am.
Citylink till 12mn.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Happy stuff aside.
I FEEL SOOOOOOOOOOOOO HARRASSED.

Charmaine.@7:12 PM
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Friday, June 09, 2006

met up with my long lost beanie today!!! not a nice weather and physical condition to shop in. slacked over at my place. loads and loads that we caught up about, the pregnancies, marriages and death of the fellow seeveeasses. hahas* even watching the stallholder at hougang point can remind us of the DNT syllabus, coping saw, blah blah blah. so happy for her and treddy. =)

it's been three years since we last spoke! hahas* seriously. but it wasn't at all weird! it was like let's pick up where we last left off, though that was three years back. this, is what i call a strong friendship. =)

reminisce those times we take 156 home, blogged in diaryland, crapped about the crazy feelings we have, chiong-ing of the Physics n Chem TYS, coming my place before heading back to school for night classes (esp the DNT lessons), and of course the classic coffee bean stardeeing sessions on Sundays that simply end up as biatching session for gurls, and arcading session for guys.

miss those days. =) haven't met up with my other long lost beanie mates. and one is all the way in US.

WORLD CUP!!! =D=D=D
FUSSBALL!
TOR! =)

Charmaine.@11:57 PM
------

it seems that i'll lose track of who i throw my tantrums to when i fall ill.
this isn't short term memory loss right?
done so many mean things recently.
and that includes ignoring the fact that junkai left a significant ETCH in our minds and.. walls.
i.e. literally and metaphorically leaving an etch in our walls and minds.

tried to sound as chirpy as possible while over the phone with mum
obviously i couldn't sustain that when i reached home
then i received a truckload of scolding as if i were a three year old kid.
Pup's still the more understanding one.

just woke up half an hour ago.
my bones are aching terribly.
coughing horrendously.
as pup puts it,
i'm throwing tissues like the tennis ball shooting machine.
standard rate, standard distance.

it was my secondary school hobby to run in the rain.
recalling the past two years in jaysee,
i've only ran once or twice in the rain.
but i've never fallen ill cus of this! i mean, at least the effect wasn't so immediate.
age is catching up MAN.

i'm happily blogging now because i'm amazingly 10minutes before schedule.
and i schedule to catch a wink at 6am.

Charmaine.@12:46 AM
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Thursday, June 08, 2006

Convince yourself before you lie.

I want to convince myself
yet the more i do,
the worse it becomes.

distance and time is what i need.

54days.

that aside,
i'm much happier now. =)
with a whole load of causal leaps
i conclude that your loss is everyone else's gain.
hahas*
Freedom has returned.

Charmaine.@2:21 PM
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Monday, June 05, 2006

it dawned on me that one of Queen Bitch's post epitomizes his/her own flairs and flaws. since i'm bored enough to start reflecting, i've decided to adapt the idea after all.

i was that baby girl born on eighth may nineteen eighty seven, in gleneagles hospital at half past noon. i was the joy of the middle aged couple who finally see their only offspring after having 13 offsprings and 6 offsprings on the maternal and paternal side respectively. And that leaves this poor offspring to have the cousin nearest to her age to be thirteen years older than her.

i was that baby who stared at her doctor while he was giving her the various jabs when she was only about a year old. i was that baby who stared at her mother as if she owed me a million dollars, and that scared the poor mother quite a bit, thinking that she brought the wrong baby home.

i was that three year old toddler who suffered a weird alternate squint eye problem. i was that daring toddler who ran out of the operation theatre at the National Eye Centre, only to be gullible enough to be dragged back into the operation theatre because they told me that i had a balloon to play with in there (threw me back onto the operation table, then i realised that it was the oxygen mask that was the ballloon.)

i was that studious prefect (aka toot kia) who spotted the bowl-like hairstyle all the way till p6 before i insisted that i try to leave my hair alone before it reaches the shoulder. i was one of the three organ players in school who had her first solo performance before the entire school during speech day, playing 'if we hold on together'. Ironically, my secondary school's theme song. Well, it's fated.

i was that toot-yet-cannot-make-it EM1 kid who scored a Superb two hundred and eighteeen points for PSLE and landed herself into none of her six choices. Only to be demoralised further when she went to her sixth choice and was asked to go to their LESS-CHALLENGING course by their DM.

i was that all-out-to-win student in sec1, who goes all out even for a stupid CNY classroom deco competition. i was that bilingual emcee who emceed all events ranging from CNY to the Move-In ceremony. i was that Head of Accounts in SC who eventually took up the unknown Head of Proposal Writing position and ended up forking out more than a hundred bucks for the unaccounted ties and badges, courtesy of the darling council peeps who never bothered to return. i was that same fella who was scolded for no apparent reason by the DM in sec3, and actually cried in school for the first time (and obviously couldn't be bothered to reply the DM when he spoke to me). i was that everything-also-must-join-in student who was the second speaker during the JG debates. i was that wu4-da3-wu4-zhuang4 suddenly became company leader of Guides.

i was that kiasi fella who was so afraid tt relationships would ruin my fabulous testimonial. i was that descriptive-essay girl who the HOD was so pissed with because i was just one of those who didn't make the A1 grade. i was that stubborn-swollen-red-eyed girl who went for the chinese oral examination immediately after her grandmother's funeral.

i was that same kid repressed under the education system and apparently unleashed her not v.guai nature in jaysee. the one who decided to pon endless econs lectures and assembly sessions which can be turned into much more meaningful biatching and slacking and sleeping sessions. i was that noisy girl with whizzy who gave our math teacher amazingly nonsensical ways to get to the answer. i was that debate society secretary who decided to pon debate and hit town with wulan. hahas* i was that enthusiastic OGL in the anti-Leonard Genesis II. i was that mentor to Sheryl of TMPS who tried to extort a computer and handphone from me on her birthday. Whatthehell. i was no-longer-that-guai-kia i used to be.

i was that 'part-time cleaner' in hai sing catholic, who cabs down to clean the floor everyday. i was that cleaner who got herself into deep shiat all thanks to Queen Bitch and his ethical issues. then she landed herself into greater shiat when she got entangled into another situation. i was that cleaner who coached the sec4s english oral and became the part-time caretaker of the library so that the sec1s and 4s can come into slack. i was that dun-look-like-teacher teacher who is going to miss this school when she leaves.

i was that not-very-safe driver who drove at 80km/h and jammed break and shocked the instructor awake. i was that zhi2-zhuo2 girl who held on to nothing for 3years, only to realise that nothing was supposed to be something. i was that absurd girl who told someone that she's a butch so that he will back off. i was that abstract-thinking fella who wants to distance herself as much as possible from the guy she now likes, though she has truckloads to tell him.

i was that possessive friend who doesn't want to share her best butts with the accquaintance. i was that fortunate girl who has a bunch of friends from the different stages of her life to support her through the ups and downs in life.

i was that materialistic girl who wants to stay in the orchard condominium with her mini schnauzer with a tiara on that velvet cushion. i am still that materialistic girl who aims to drive a mini cooper and hermes birkin, LV, Loewe, blah blah blah by 30.

however, i am still who i am for now.
that same old plain jane.

Charmaine.@7:24 PM
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Saturday, June 03, 2006

Another 61 days to Switzerland.
Tell me how i'm feeling.

***

Skipped work
Because i fell flat for full 14hours.

Caught X-men the second time yesterday.
thanks to the bunch of guys beside us who decided to stay.
we managed to catch that snippet of 5 seconds
that led us to wonder the continuation for the next 5 minutes.

After leaving us in the lurch for five years
Mag has decided to collect us from the store.
The Power of Love.
This swinging single has decided to go find a fat fish at One Fullerton someday.
Smart move to dump that ass.

Got nothing but a pair of heels and accessories yesterday.
No midnight shopping, hit Kbox with the birthday girl Hippo instead.
And we only left at 3+am.

***

i just need time to accept what has been happening around me.
i might appear more mature
because i've learnt how to maintain the facade
getting used to it
does not equate to accepting it.
not crying
does not mean that i've gotten over.

it just spells that i'm too tired to cry.

***

Part 2
Just got home from the airport.
Whatthehell.
i left my wallet at home.
No identification
No card
No cash
The driver was fuming mad.
I was extremely panicky.
Got help from the service crew.
Waited for half an hour before pup and mum came out.
Got the money from them,
paid the service crew,
ran off to the taxi stand.

before i knew
all the service crew that past me
asked me if everything was alright.
So...
i conclude that news has spread to all the service crew in the budget terminal
over the past half hour (since the budget terminal isn't very big).

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I NEVER WILL STEP INTO THE BUDGET TERMINAL EVER AGAIN.

Charmaine.@6:01 PM
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Thursday, June 01, 2006

it's the second in ten days.
i hate it.

if i were to die
i'd choose to be the first.

i'm selfish.
i don't want to go through the pain of loss.

Charmaine.@5:30 PM
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